what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
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I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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