Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize