there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize