My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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