The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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