happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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