Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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