I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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