Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize