walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
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We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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