you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize