That's intense
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He passed out mid-signature
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize