forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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