you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
