Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize