2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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