i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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