obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You're a waste of cheezeits
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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