Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The uberlube is also flammable
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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