Don't make out with my wife yet
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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