I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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