What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize