At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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