Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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