worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize