Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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