i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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