We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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