Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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