This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize