Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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