Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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