Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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