TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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