Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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