Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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