I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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