capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You took a bar mat shot.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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