When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize