I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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