There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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