I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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