so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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