from now on my penis is your penis
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize