distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize