I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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