I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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