Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
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Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
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I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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