I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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