You work out of a Hotel?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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