After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
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So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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