That's when you crack a 10am beer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize